Poems I wrote in-between the age of 18 and 20
To see the shimmer in your eyes at Dawn
Or at dusk, when you’re tired your adorable y…a…w…n
I want to perceive every detail of thy Story
A book to remember in all it’s glory
From cover to back I will Study
Thy bundled Art
Thy body of Calligraphy
Wild waves on the sea
like the emotion that feeds me
a soft breeze from the Ocean
it can put my heart in motion
Those CHARGING waves
While lightning’s afflicting
Rain DESCENDING
and winds THRUSTING
A storm, my heart, my mind
When your touch is nowhere to find
Totally lost at sea
Not knowing if you want me
Like a tiny ball of Yarn
and the world as it’s Playful Kittten
It frolics it looser or it ties it up more,
a mess of tangled abstraction
Forever a knotted ball but
a straight string nevermore
A second time around?
Is it something that you found?
I still ache from trial number one
I still think it’s something I had done
But now you’re back with regret of your aberration
And against my angst you still give me the same sensation
As friends of flames we both don’t know
This time, to save myself,
let us get carried
by the flow
Am I fooling myself?
I know that I care for, I always do, right?
But why my need to protect?
How the abrupt territorial thoughts?
Is it normal or am I hooked?
In this platonic passionate province we created
And is thy Sensing the same?
Or is it still really just a game?
I lost the eyes I used to look into
Because they stopped smiling
I travelled paths to gaze into different eyes,
but those left me unseen
I travalled paths to bring the smile and hope back in the eyes where it used to lie
But without succes i always return,
afraid that i won’t ever find it again
To look into my own reflection and see the eyes that used to look back
with hope for a better tomorrow
unexpected
A long time of feeling neglected
i promised myself I was trough
Saying I didn’t want something new
But then I stood and looked into your eyes
Wanting to step, but scared, waas it wise?
Till your hand met mine,
leaving all the scared behind
A goodness I thought I’d never met
Until you came with a heart bigger then any fleet
How I want to give up, every single day
Even tho me is the only thing that stands in the way
I have the patience to write the book
But results seem so far away until the final look
Tearing pages between the titles
Falling tears and losing sight of vitals
But my pen has to keep flowing
for the results will feel glowing
Every sentence as my trail,
a finished product, released from it’s jail
For if I fall, who will thy be?
An estranged bystander who’s watching me?
On all I swear I will get up
will you hide in the crowd and join their club?
Or will thy reach out and be a guiding hand
To brisk my stand on newfound land
fear above logic
for now, it’s all I know
Always on trial,
time here moves so slow
Surrounded by judges,
eyes everyday new to meet
Scared of their minds,
from dusk till dawn feeling that heat
But worst of all are the lawyers sitting left and right
Making their case, putting up an unbeatable fight
All day long, yearling their whispers of fear
defeating all logic, it can’t even come near
Did I? Lose myself?
I don’t know…?
does this book carry the right cover?
Is this an evolved version, a grown version?
Or is all just a dark wrapping to dim that shining view
What goggles should I be wearing to go back, or froward, to know, the truth
Did I? Lose myself?
Sauntering trough the flourishing forest
with bar skin feeling the grass green grounds
and the breath of the trees traveling around our celestial self
To wander toward nature’s own made mirror
and see into a sapphire sea
a gifts the world wants to give to me
a depiction of a sightly soul
a depiction of my own whole
You’re not yet the archer you can potentially be
and I’m not yet the target, for steady I do not plea
But as time consumes
and practice resumes
Your arrow will be carried straight
and i shall be still and will await
For then our ends will meet
and far eternal we shall be complete
As jing and jang
But instead of colliding they’re always fighting
Black fights in shadow, absorbing all the comes to path
While white battles in sunlight, with reflection up it holds
Matching strengths show me no collision to grey
Even tho one cannot exist without the other,
or all surroundings fall to prey
A distopman vision made up by fears but so strong it holds up the truth
A truth which I dread
because the more truth those visions hold
the more powerful they become
and the more they scare me
scare me, push me and kill me
Day and night don’t compare
For the sky isn’t blue compared to your eyes
and the sun doesn’t shine as bright as your smile
The stars are out but still I gaze at you
and the moon suddenly isn’t worth flying to
